Students are typically eager to experience all the way-from-home independence they can during the first few weeks of school. However, they are still anxious to maintain family ties and the security that these ties bring. They will check the mailbox regularly.
Tip #1 - Write (Even If They Don't Write Back)
Tip #2 - Don't Ask If Your Student is Homesick.
Students often deny the idea of homesickness. They will usually be extremely busy meeting new people and adjusting to new situations. Unless you remind them, they will probably be able to escape the loneliness, frustration, and homesickness typical of most new students. (Even if they don't tell you during the first few weeks ... they do miss you!)
Tip #3 - Don't Be Overly Alarmed* About Emotional Phone Calls Or Letters.
Often when troubles become too much for a student to handle (a flunked test, ended relationship, or even a shrunken T-shirt), the only place to turn may be to write or call home. You might not hear about the "A" paper, new relationship, or other triumphs, instead you may hear only about the problems. After unloading troubles, students usually feel better and you are left with the burden of worry. *(Note: If problems are serious or out of character, resources for students are available on campus.)
Although students are often reluctant to admit it, they do like planned visits which include shopping, dinner out, or things of that nature. However,visits should not be surprises. Special weekend visits are fun.
Tip #4 - Visit (At Times).
Tip #5 - Ask Questions (But Not Too Many).
College students are sometimes resentful of interference with their new found independence but most desire the security of knowing that someone is still interested in them. "I-have-the-right-to-know" questions can be frustrating for your student. It might be a good idea to talk about communication guidelines ahead of time to establish expectations on which you can all agree.
Tip # 6 - Expect Some Change.
Change is inevitable, natural, and can be inspiring and beautiful. Occasionally it may be challenging. Remember that your student will basically be the same person that went away to school. Maturity is not instantaneous. Please be patient!
Tip #7 - Do Not Tell Your Student That "These Are The Best Years Of our Life!"
Not all college students get good grades, know what they want to do with their future, always have activity-packed weekends, have thousands of close friends, and lead carefree, worry-free lives! Family members who perpetuate the "best years" stereotype may inadvertently be working against their students' already challenging self-development. Those who accept and understand the highs and lows of their students' education are providing support and encouragement where they need it most.
Tip #8 - Talk to Others.
Talk to others who have gone through a similar college student transition. Often other families with college students understand your feelings, and you will be able to share your experiences.
Tip #9 - Take Photos.
Take photographs of your student at college. This will help keep you close to what your student is experiencing.
Tip #10 - Trust Your Student.
Make your love and respect known. Some of their decisions may be a little scary from time to time, but your support and trust will offer the encouragement they need to feel confident in making good, solid decisions on their own. Let them know you trust them and mean it!
Help Your Student Enjoy Their College Years !
